Anxiety: Are You Feeling It?

Photo Credit: Anthony Tran

Do you sometimes find yourself feeling like your heart is about to beat right out of your chest? Are you constantly worrying and wondering when the other shoe is going to drop? Does life feel like it isn’t working for you and you’re so tired of searching and trying to figure out how to make it work? Do you find ways to numb out and forget that the world exists? Hello Anxiety!

We are living in a world that is changing at a pace that makes it difficult to feel like we are keeping up. Housing shortages, rising costs in the fundamental needs of survival like groceries, clothing, and medical care add to the daily stressors of trying to live a life that feels doable, dare I say comfortable or luxurious.

Recently, I have noticed that tempers are easily flared as I have overheard difficult conversations at check-outs as cashiers manage declined card situations with shoppers trying to buy food, heard the frustration and anger of those who have been victims of property crime and, overheard a conversation regarding how different things are for the younger generations coming up today. It’s hard to imagine that some form of anxiety isn’t affecting all of us in one way or another.

What many of us don’t know is that these current day scenarios are often experienced through the lens of some previous life experience stored in our sub-conscious. Our beliefs, behaviours, and or old traumas are further exacerbating the issue at hand. Anxiety begins long before we are aware of it or even willing to consider it. Anxiety has been there for a long time! We call it stress and it piles up in us, but we keep going, repress the frustration, and ignore the signs and symptoms and we do what humans do. We get used to it!

I remember the first time a doctor said that I had anxiety and I sat there shaking my head with an astounding, “No I don’t!” When I ask my clients in their first coaching call with me how much stress they think they are experiencing on a scale of 1 to 10, several of them under-report this number. As we explore the reasons they sought to speak with me in the first place, what is often revealed is that they are carrying a moderate to extreme amount of stress and anxiety within them that they have acclimated to and frankly, have given up seeing a way out of. Hence, many adjust their initial score of 4-6 to a score of 7-9.

Degrees and certifications do not mean we have it all figured out! Aside from myself, I have worked with several professional women who purport to being without stress and anxiety but their commonplace beliefs about who they are in the world, especially to everyone else around them, costs them their relationship to self and the energy to compassionately let others help themselves while they take time to come back to their own center.

In effort to alleviate our stress and anxiety we turn to control. When we feel uncomfortable, the body knows that it needs some kind of shift and so we may find methods of control to be found in ways of numbing out which could be addiction to movement, food, alcohol or other stimulants, and a myriad of other harmful engagements. One way we might try to control the things that are frustrating us, especially women is to focus on a change in personal appearance; some may use weight-loss, plastic surgery, a change in hairstyle (often regretted after the fact) to find temporary relief. One of my clients was certain she had a medical issue in her stomach, but the culprit was anxiety (You can read more here https://www.coachcassandra1.com/ under Testimonials).

I have spent a lifetime battling my body and it is a war that was waged in childhood and has been one of the ways that I could execute some control in my life. But recently, I realized that some of my methods were contributing to my own anxiety and affecting every area of my life. Thankful for my awareness, I am taking steps to remove anxiety from my life and lay down my sword. Unhealthy strategies may be controlling us, and not for betterment. We expect that gaining a certain degree of control over one situation will improve everything. This may or may not be the case; Although, healthy resolution to health and life challenges can certainly open doors to positive opportunities.

Unmanaged stress or anxiety can ultimately lead to emotional, mental, and or physical breakdown. Choosing to take the initiative in healing your health, rather than just accepting stress as something you get used to, is letting the Universe know that you are willing to slow down and find more ways to experience joy in this life that you’ve been given. Alternatively, the Universe may lovingly force you to take the bench and figure things out from a fresh perspective involving a more aggressive approach.

A few things to look for when asking yourself if anxiety is affecting you, as listed by the Mayo Clinic https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/generalized-anxiety-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20360803:

· Persistent worrying or anxiety about a number of areas that are out of proportion to the impact of the events

· Overthinking plans and solutions to all possible worst-case outcomes

· Perceiving situations and events as threatening, even when they aren't

· Difficulty handling uncertainty

· Indecisiveness and fear of making the wrong decision

· Inability to set aside or let go of a worry

· Inability to relax, feeling restless, and feeling keyed up or on edge

· Difficulty concentrating, or the feeling that your mind "goes blank"

Some of the ways to alleviate feelings of stress or anxiety that I recommend are:

· Be open and compassionate with yourself. Be willing to ask difficult questions and brave enough to explore areas of your life that could feel better if you felt more equipped to manage your symptoms. We are meant to experience difficulty as a way to push beyond stagnancy and to experience growth through conquering limiting thoughts and beliefs. We are all way more capable than we give ourselves the space to believe. Our gifts are many!

· Ask for help. There are so many ways to ask for help but we often dismiss asking because we don’t want to be a burden to someone else. Honestly, if you are a parent, someone in your life is probably waiting for you to ask them to babysit your kids so you can enjoy a night out and they get to spend time with your kids, whom they absolutely adore!

· Avoid substance abuse. A drink can so easily take the edge off but alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, and other substances often end up clouding judgement and add to the circular experience of an anxiety-stricken loop. We live in a Groundhog Day (see movie) sort of experience until we desire to see with absolute clarity. Speaking as someone who knows.

· Find gratitude for something in your life right now. It doesn’t have to be anything big. It could be a cup of coffee. Appreciation for the good stuff generates an energy that draws to it more good stuff!

· Don’t think you have to change everything all at once. Personal transformation happens over time and doesn’t have a destination. It is a continuous journey. So choose only one thing at a time to work on.

· Get another opinion. We are our own worst critics. Reach out to a therapist, counsellor, or coach. Seeking out a professional is a great step toward facing facts and figuring your way to a healthier understanding of yourself and navigating your way to the future with support and a plan that often details things you may never have thought of on your own. A desired life doesn’t happen without making changes in the actual 3D land of the living.

If you read this and you feel moved to take a step to reduce your stress level and anxiety, please visit my website where you can get to know me a little better and sign up for my monthly newsletter where I speak from my heart and offer insight to inspire you to live your best life now. Sign up now for special savings on any Psychic Empowerment Reading from now until the end of 2022.

Love and Light,

Coach Cassandra